November's MONTHLY MANTRA: "I forgive you."
Five years ago the Whitaker family of four from Texas was shot in their own home. The mother and one son died, and the father and one son survived. As
the story unraveled, it was found that the son who lived had set in motion the plan to kill his family.
As the investigation would reveal, Bart Whitaker was responsible for his own family's deaths because he felt inadequate and believed his parents didn't love
him. He believed his family loved an idealized version of himself because they had always set the standard high for him, one which he saw as reachable by his
brother but not by him. Not believing he could ever live up to what his parents envisioned for him, he became envious of his brother because he believed his
brother had so many of the qualities that he didn't have. When Bart confessed, he admitted to police that he could only live like that for so long before he started to
bear a grudge against those he thought set the standard too high for him. His thoughts turned to hatred for his family who he blamed for his own life not turning out differently.
The story made the news again recently because of the father's ability to overcome the tragedy through his
power to forgive his son. He had to move past trying to analyze his son and said, "My love for him and my
forgiveness for him aren't based on him changing." The father's ability to understand concepts of eternity
and connect soul to soul with his son is extraordinary as is his remarkable conviction that there is no  requirement
at the soul level for his son to be anything other than what he is. The father said resolving to forgive his son has helped him heal. It's a gift he
gives to himself. He has learned that not forgiving doesn't help a relationship but rather gets in the way of connection. His son has learned that holding a grudge,
being judgmental, and allowing hate for another have tragic consequences. According to author Don Miguel Ruiz, we focus into joy, into love, into
acceptance, and into beauty. We all have emotional poison we hold for others that we need to let go. Yesterday's hate and abuse are corpses that we carry. If
we want to let go of the pain and the trauma, instead of believing "it WAS true," believe "it WAS true…but it's not any more, not now." Let go of the past. You
will forgive and you will heal not for them but for yourself. The past is gone, so it's not "truth" any more.
We create our own story, and while our own happiness is not always easy to find in ourselves, it is not
possible to find elsewhere. "I forgive you," from your heart and from your soul, will help you heal.
-article written monthly by staff employees
|
